Our essential guide
Discover helpful tips on how to use rewards to offer your dogs and children more positives.
Dogs and children: living happily together
Expert advice on how to build safe, loving relationships between dogs and children.
So many dogs and children live happily together and share a special bond. But, did you know...
Up to 91% of dog
bites to children happen at home with a known dog
Don’t worry, we’re here to help.
Dogs and children can be the best of friends, but safe, loving relationships need support from parents and carers.
This page and our essential guide offer practical, family-friendly advice on helping children and dogs live happily together.
Our essential guide
Check out our essential guide for parents and carers offering lots of practical tips and easy wins.
Getting a family dog was a big step for us and the essential guide from Dogs Trust was so helpful. We used the advice, put rules and routines in place, and as a result the dog and the children have such a great bond.
A parent
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Making safety simple
We know that caring for dogs and children can be challenging at times, but we’re here to make it as easy as possible with our ‘Golden Rule’.
The Golden Rule is simple: increase the positive experiences and reduce the negative ones for both dogs and children. This is the key to building a strong, loving bond.
We know you can’t avoid every tricky moment. But by creating plenty of positive interactions, dogs will likely cope better when a child does something unexpected. And vice versa.
Our essential guide will help you to create positive experiences and learn how to avoid the negative ones. Read on to learn more.
Teaching children to live happily with dogs
Children can be great companions for dogs. But even the most tolerant dog can sometimes find children’s energy, noise, and unpredictability difficult. When children learn how to behave safely around dogs, it helps dogs see them more positively. This helps dog to cope better with the small mistakes children sometimes make.
The ‘ABCs of being a dog’s friend’ are key to teaching children how to be the best companion for their dog. Let’s learn more about them.
The ABCs of being a dog's best friend
Affection: Show dogs affection in ways they understand
Though well intentioned, hugs and kisses can make dogs feel trapped or worried. Instead, teach children to offer gentle strokes or snuggles*. This helps dogs feel safe and comfortable and gives them the choice to move away.
* Snuggles = This is when a dog chooses to curl up next to us.
Busy: Give dogs space when they are busy
This one’s easy! Dogs should always be given space when they’re busy, like when they are eating, sleeping, resting, or enjoying a toy.
Choice: Give dogs choice at all times
Choice is essential for dogs’ day-to-day happiness, overall wellbeing, and for keeping interactions safe. Giving dogs choice means letting dogs choose when to come to us. And it means letting them move away when they want to, without following them.
Read our essential guide for advice on supporting younger children, or those not yet ready for the ABCs, and for tips on building positive child–dog experiences.
Top tip: Choose a moment when you have your child’s attention — like on the school run or while sitting together at dinner — to chat to them about the ABCs.
Supporting dogs to live happily with children
Like us, dogs are happiest when they feel safe, relaxed, and understood. But the noise and unpredictability of family life can make it hard, even for the most tolerant dogs, to feel this way.
Learning more about dog body language will help you know when they’re comfortable and when they need a break.
Listening for the 'whispers'
Dogs are social animals who use their body language to communicate and avoid conflict. Most of us notice the obvious signs a dog is uncomfortable like growling or biting. But these are a dog’s last resort, a bit like when we shout.
Dogs usually ‘whisper’ first with subtle signals. They may move away, lick their lips, or tuck their tail under them, for example. If we can spot these ‘whispers’ early and respond straight away, dogs rarely feel the need to shout. This is especially important for keeping dogs and children safe together.
Look at the images below to see some key ‘whispers’ to look out for:
1 of 4
If you notice these ‘whispers,’ step in and help your dog feel comfortable. Often this just means giving them space — like asking your child to move away or letting your dog move to a calmer spot.
Top tip: The more you learn about dog body language, or ‘whispers’, the better you can support your dog. Find out more about body language and signs a dog may be stressed. You can even test your knowledge with our body language quiz!
Top tip: Use praise and rewards to keep things positive
This means:
• Praising children for using the ABCs
• Rewarding dogs for calm behaviour
• Offering fun alternative activities for children to do when you use separation
• Giving dogs a treat or toy when separating, so separation is seen as a positive, not a negative
For advice on key skills to teach your dog and quick wins to meet their needs, read our essential guide:
You play a key role in helping your child and dog build a safe, happy bond. Our advice makes it simple with three easy steps: Stay close and pay attention, step-in, and separate.
Stay close, Step-in and Separate
You play a key role in helping your dog and child build a safe, happy bond. Our advice makes it simple with three easy steps Stay Close and pay attention, Step In and Separate:
- Stay close and pay attention: stay close so you can spot behaviour from your child that might worry your dog, or subtle ‘whispers’ from your dog that show they are uncomfortable. Being nearby isn’t enough — you need to pay attention so you can step-in when needed.
- Step-in: intervene as soon as you notice a problem. This might mean asking your child to stop, suggesting a kinder approach, or creating space by moving your child away or calling your dog over to you.
- Separate: if you’re busy or distracted and can’t stay close and pay attention, or your child or dog needs more space, it’s time to separate. Use baby gates, play pens, highchairs, or even different rooms to give your child and dog the separation they need.
Top tip: Use praise and rewards to keep things positive! Praise children for using the ABCs and reward dogs for calm behaviour.
What to do if a dog bite happens
Immediately following a dog bite
If a dog bite happens, the first step is to calmly and safely separate your child and dog.
It’s natural to feel shaken or upset following a dog bite. But do not punish the dog, this can make things harder for both them and you.
Fortunately, most dog bites to children don’t require a visit to hospital but if anyone is seriously injured, call an ambulance or seek medical help straight away.
What to do in the days, weeks, or months following a dog bite
Sometimes, owners might feel pressured to have their dog put to sleep after a dog bite or aggressive behaviour towards a child.
Making the decision to euthanise a dog should always be a last resort. Before you take that step, seek professional support from your vet and accredited behaviour experts, as there are many safe ways to manage a dog’s behaviour and prevent similar situations in the future.
Rehoming your dog may also be an option. If you're considering this, take a look at our advice. We'll help you make the right decision for your dog.
Talk to your vet
If you're worried about your dog's behaviour, or if they seem fearful or anxious, get them checked by a vet. They can see if a medical condition might be affecting your dog’s behaviour. The vet can also refer you to an accredited behaviourist who can provide personalised support to help change the way your dog feels and behaves.
Further ways to support your dog and your child
Need help with your dog's behaviour?
Contact our Behaviour Support Line for free expert advice.
Call us on 03030036666
or
Our free telephone service is open Monday to Friday 8.:30am to 7.:30pm and Saturday and bank holidays 9:30am to 5pm.
Need help with your child's behaviour?
Action for Children’s ‘Parent Talk’ advice hub is full of helpful tips and advice on a wide range of child behaviours. Take a look to learn more about:
- Understanding emotions and behaviour
- Using rules and rewards
- Challenging behaviour
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